Have we all heard this saying? When our kids whine over something that is actually nothing, when we see blessings as curses, its like we are crying over nothing. So, when G-d was giving us this fabulous land to live in, our response was to sing thanks and praise and move in. What did we do? We cried-on the 9th of Av. Oy vey. So, as the secular saying goes, we are now being given something to cry about. On this day throughout history there have been many other calamaties:
422 BCE First temple destroyed
70 CE Second temple destroyed
Bar Kokhba revolt was stopped by the Romans
First crusade began killing 10,000 Jews
We were expelled from England
We were expelled from Spain
WWI broke out, making way for WWII and the Holocaust
Jews were deported from Warsaw Ghetto to Treblinka on the eve of Tish B'Av
Is Tish B'Av a punishment from G-d? I don't think so. What I think it is is a reminder of how we did not trust Him. He took us out of Egypt, parted the sea, fed us in the desert, and now we won't enter the land? Now we become scared and cry? The other part of this picture is us. It is not G-d punishing us, we are our own worst enemies sometimes. Even though we left Egypt etc....it would never have happened if we didn't take part. We physically listened to G-d by doing what He asked. Moses went up against Pharoah, a man went into the sea up to his neck out of faith before G-d parted the water, we built the tabernacle in the desert. Everything involved us, He wasn't going to do these things while we sit and watch. We are the key. We don't have to be sitting here fasting, we could be rejoicing. We are the solution. The land is wonderful, the temple is wonderful, but we have G0d in us, we have the power to change this world with G0d leading the way. We have to want it.
Let's rejoice on Tish B'Av next year!
Adventuresome Me
- Tamar Ruth
- Who I started out as is not who I have become! I grew up in a small town, very small...and all I wanted to do was move to the city. Now as an adult that small town has grown and is overcrowded. I want what I had as a kid...small town living. We don't appreciate what we have until it is gone. I water my plants with my rain barrel water,grow veggies in the front yard and want chickens and goats in the worst way. I married my high school sweetheart and after 18 years of marriage converted to Judaism. Did I mention I have 4 kids and I homeschool? My oldest son just graduated! The purpose of this blog is to share my experiences--homeschooling, being Jewish and loving it in a not so Jewish town, gardening, animals, and alternative medicines. So, if any of these things interest you---come along for the ride!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
School vs. Education
I read this on another web site, www.torahhomeschooling.com, and it was too crucial not to repost.
Of Daffodils and Diesels
Author Unknown
I’m not very good in school. This is my second year in the seventh grade, and I’m bigger than most of the other kids. The kids like me all right, even though I don’t say much in class, and that sort of makes up for what goes on in school. I don’t know why the teachers don’t like me. They never have. It seems like they don’t think you know anything unless you can name the book it comes out of.I read a lot at home—things like Popular Mechanics and Sports Illustrated and the Sears catalog—but I don’t just sit down and read them through like they make us do in school. I use them when I want to find something out, like a batting average or when Mom buys something secondhand and wants to know if she’s getting a good price.
In school, though, we’ve got to learn whatever is in the book and I just can’t memorize the stuff. Last year I stayed after school every night for two weeks trying to learn the names of the presidents. Some of them were easy, like Washington and Jefferson and Lincoln, but there must have been 30 altogether and I never did get them straight. I’m not too sorry, though, because the kids who learned the presidents had to turn right around and learn all the vice presidents.
I am taking the seventh grade over, but our teacher this year isn’t interested in the names of the presidents. She has us trying to learn the names of all the great American inventors. I guess I just can’t remember the names in history. Anyway, I’ve been trying to learn about trucks because my uncle owns three and he says I can drive one when I’m 16. I know the horsepower and gear ratios of 26 American trucks and want to operate a diesel. Those diesels are really something. I started to tell my teacher about them in science class last week when the pump we were using to make a vacuum in a bell jar got hot, but she said she didn’t see what a diesel engine has to do with our experiment on air pressure, so I just shut up. The kids seemed interested, though. I took four of them around to my uncle’s garage after school and we watched his mechanic tear down a big diesel engine. He really knew his stuff.
I’m not very good in geography, either. They call it economic geography this year. We’ve been studying the imports and exports of Turkey all week, but I couldn’t tell you what they are. Maybe the reason is that I missed school for a couple of days when my uncle took me downstate to pick up some livestock. He told me where we were headed and I had to figure out the best way to get there and back. He just drove and turned where I told him. It was over 500 miles round trip and I’m figuring now what his oil cost and the wear and tear on the truck—he calls it depreciation—so we’ll know how much we made. When we got back I wrote up all the bills and sent letters to the farmers about what their pigs and cattle brought at the stockyard. My aunt said I only made 3 mistakes in 17 letters, all commas. I wish I could write school themes that way. The last one I had to write was on “What a daffodil thinks of Spring,” and I just couldn’t get going.
I don’t do very well in arithmetic, either. Seems I just can’t keep my mind on the problems. We had one the other day like this: If a 57 foot telephone pole falls across a highway so that 17 and 3/4 feet extend from one side and 14 and 16/17 feet extend from the other, how wide is the highway? That seemed to me like an awfully silly way to get the size of a highway. I didn’t even try to answer it because it didn’t say whether the pole had fallen straight across or not.
Even in shop class I don’t get very good grades. All of us kids made a broom holder and a bookend this semester and mine were sloppy. I just couldn’t get interested. Mom doesn’t use a broom anymore with her new vacuum cleaner, and all of our books are in a bookcase with glass doors in the family room. Anyway, I wanted to make a tailgate for my uncle’s trailer, but the shop teacher said that meant using metal and wood both, and I’d have to learn how to work with wood first. I didn’t see why, but I kept quiet and made a tie tack even though my dad doesn’t wear ties. I made the tailgate after school in my uncle’s garage, and he said I saved him $20. Government class is hard for me, too.
I’ve been staying after school trying to learn the Articles of Confederation for almost a week, because the teacher said we couldn’t be a good citizen unless we did. I really tried because I want to be a good citizen. I did hate to stay after school, though, because a bunch of us guys from Southend have been cleaning up the old lot across from Taylor’s Machine Shop to make a playground out of it for the little kids from the Methodist home. I made the jungle gym out of the old pipe, and the guys put me in charge of things. We raised enough money collecting scrap this month to build a wire fence clear around the lot.
Dad says I can quit school when I’m 16. I’m sort of anxious to because there are a lot of things I want to learn.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Finding Spirituality
As I was driving down a busy road I passed by a church that had something written on its sign in small print and then in big print it said SONRISE. A few miles down from there, on the opposite side of the road, I saw a Muslim place of worship and it had a banner out front announcing their monthly fast. Twenty minutes more of driving and I ended up in a Jewish community, which is where I was headed, and it was bustling with people getting ready for Shabbat. The cashier said the lines are always long on Friday afternoons.
This all got me to thinking of how people are looking for something beyond the reach of their hands. Our physical being is not all we are made of. If this were true we would not be remembered the way we are once we are gone. Why? We have feelings, emotions, we interact, we contribute, we are part of each other-all of this is a part of our spiritual selves-this is the part that means something. Our physical body carries out who we are, its important but, dare I say not as important as the unseen? We need our bodies no doubt, but its not who we are. Why else do people who have everything they need still feel empty? Because they don't have everything they need, in reality they could have nothing.
When a favorite dress is outgrown, or a piece of china breaks we become upset but do we bury it, have services and visit it 20 years later? No, but why not? We put so much time into acquiring these things. Because in reality they don't matter. Even people who don't go to a place of worship or have much spiritual emphasis in their lives, still show they need what the physical world can't provide. Love, courage, respect, integrity. None of these are physical, so what category do they fall into? Morality? Where does morality come from? It can't be seen. However, even this will turn out not to be enough. Why? Because we are not getting to the source. The worst criminal can have some moral convictions. What is the source of our being, of who we really are? What do we stand for? Why? Its G0d. Hashem, Adonai. The creator of all. He is our ultimate goal.
What is important is what is not seen. We have the written words of the Torah which are very, very important but what is not seen is what was not written down initially, the hows and whys of the Torah-the carrying out of this holy book.
There is a love that comes from G0d that does surpass all understanding, it warms like nothing else and it is so intense that we have to pass it on. When we are told to be a light to the world, it is not just the brightness of the light, but the warmth of the light. When you stand next to something hot you get hot. When a pot sits on a stove or in an oven full of delicious food ready to be cooked it is lacking something-heat that comes from light. Only then will it be delicious. My Nana, of blessed memory, used to call my kids delicious. Are we delicious to the world? Have we lost our sense, our purpose, what is important?
When people are with us do they sense coldness or heat? Everyone is looking for G0d, they may not call Him G0d, but we all need Him, we lack without Him. We are his partner. If we truly search for G0d He will show us what He wants from us, how to act, raise our kids, be a good spouse, neighbor, etc...isn't this what its all about?
Shabbat Shalom!
This all got me to thinking of how people are looking for something beyond the reach of their hands. Our physical being is not all we are made of. If this were true we would not be remembered the way we are once we are gone. Why? We have feelings, emotions, we interact, we contribute, we are part of each other-all of this is a part of our spiritual selves-this is the part that means something. Our physical body carries out who we are, its important but, dare I say not as important as the unseen? We need our bodies no doubt, but its not who we are. Why else do people who have everything they need still feel empty? Because they don't have everything they need, in reality they could have nothing.
When a favorite dress is outgrown, or a piece of china breaks we become upset but do we bury it, have services and visit it 20 years later? No, but why not? We put so much time into acquiring these things. Because in reality they don't matter. Even people who don't go to a place of worship or have much spiritual emphasis in their lives, still show they need what the physical world can't provide. Love, courage, respect, integrity. None of these are physical, so what category do they fall into? Morality? Where does morality come from? It can't be seen. However, even this will turn out not to be enough. Why? Because we are not getting to the source. The worst criminal can have some moral convictions. What is the source of our being, of who we really are? What do we stand for? Why? Its G0d. Hashem, Adonai. The creator of all. He is our ultimate goal.
What is important is what is not seen. We have the written words of the Torah which are very, very important but what is not seen is what was not written down initially, the hows and whys of the Torah-the carrying out of this holy book.
There is a love that comes from G0d that does surpass all understanding, it warms like nothing else and it is so intense that we have to pass it on. When we are told to be a light to the world, it is not just the brightness of the light, but the warmth of the light. When you stand next to something hot you get hot. When a pot sits on a stove or in an oven full of delicious food ready to be cooked it is lacking something-heat that comes from light. Only then will it be delicious. My Nana, of blessed memory, used to call my kids delicious. Are we delicious to the world? Have we lost our sense, our purpose, what is important?
When people are with us do they sense coldness or heat? Everyone is looking for G0d, they may not call Him G0d, but we all need Him, we lack without Him. We are his partner. If we truly search for G0d He will show us what He wants from us, how to act, raise our kids, be a good spouse, neighbor, etc...isn't this what its all about?
Shabbat Shalom!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
It Takes Time
I am reading a book right now on how to heal my back pain naturally. While I am going to a chiropractor, orthopedist and pain specialist I always feel the need to do my own research, expecially when the doctors don't sound overly positive about the end results. It is a wonderful book so far, the author, Art Brownstein, has person experience with this and speaks of how the body, mind and soul work together. There are always blessings, or at the very least things to learn, in these inconveniences in our lives.
From Healing Back Pain Naturally: When you stretch a specific muscle group, you are strengthening other muscle groups as well. Every opposing muscle in the body gets strengthened when you stretch its counterpart. It is impossible not to get stronger even if you are only concentrating on stretching.
Leviticus 19 speaks of how we should treat each other: don't spread gossip, judge with righteousness, not to steal or lie, or rob a man of his wages. And love your fellow as yourself. Rabbi Akiva says this is he great principle of the Torah.
So what does back pain have to do with how we treat each other? We can see how everything is connected. In our bodies our muscles effect each other, strengthening one strengthens the rest. We may each be individuals but collectively we are one body. When we strengthen ourselves we can't help but be a positive influence on those around us. Just as stretching and healing weak and/or hurting muscles takes time, being an encouragement to those who don't want to be encouraged or strengthened will also take time.
One smile or good deed will not turn a person around but it is a start. We can't give up on each other, we have to be there for those around us, and vice versa, when something gets us down we can count on someone to be there for us, to cheer us up and get us going again.
This reasoning may help when confronting an unpleasant situation, if we look at it from a different angle as an opportunity to do good in the world. Back pain and relatonships-it all takes time.
From Healing Back Pain Naturally: When you stretch a specific muscle group, you are strengthening other muscle groups as well. Every opposing muscle in the body gets strengthened when you stretch its counterpart. It is impossible not to get stronger even if you are only concentrating on stretching.
Leviticus 19 speaks of how we should treat each other: don't spread gossip, judge with righteousness, not to steal or lie, or rob a man of his wages. And love your fellow as yourself. Rabbi Akiva says this is he great principle of the Torah.
So what does back pain have to do with how we treat each other? We can see how everything is connected. In our bodies our muscles effect each other, strengthening one strengthens the rest. We may each be individuals but collectively we are one body. When we strengthen ourselves we can't help but be a positive influence on those around us. Just as stretching and healing weak and/or hurting muscles takes time, being an encouragement to those who don't want to be encouraged or strengthened will also take time.
One smile or good deed will not turn a person around but it is a start. We can't give up on each other, we have to be there for those around us, and vice versa, when something gets us down we can count on someone to be there for us, to cheer us up and get us going again.
This reasoning may help when confronting an unpleasant situation, if we look at it from a different angle as an opportunity to do good in the world. Back pain and relatonships-it all takes time.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Can I Enjoy My Kids Fighting?
I grew up as an only child, no brother and no sisters. People with siblings wish they were only children. I wish I wasn't. We always want what we don't have. I now have 4 kids of my own, ages 17-9. While writing that I can't believe it. It seems like yesterday they were babies and we had more diapers than anyone would care to mention. As my kids are growing up they are becoming great friends and mortal enemies all at once. How many times I would say I wish they would just get along. On one vacation my second oldest son and my daugher (#4), were fighting as usual. By the end of the night we rented a movie and who was sitting together and eating popcorn in a chair-not even a couch, but a somewhat over-sized chair-but these 2 rivals.
So why do I ask if I can enjoy my kids fighting? There are 2 reasons off the top of my head.
One is a lesson to learn from them. You can fight with someone and still have a friendship, still accept each other for who they are. Obviously they do not hate each other or they wouldn't be sitting so close enjoying popcorn. We may not like everything about a person but we can appreciate what we do have in common and relish in that.
The other is the more my kids fight now the better equipped they will be to stand up for themselves later on with people not in their immediate family. It doesn't mean they will be bullies, it means they will less likely be pushovers. This is their training ground. They will have years of experience and maturity under their belt that I did not have in this area when they face the world beyond their front door. As an only child, I complied for the most part, no I wasn't an angel but things were relatively peaceful in my house. I only had a dog to fight with and blame things on (which didn't go over).
So even though it drives me crazy at times, if I look at their fighting in this respect, I can actually sit back and smile. Its one thing you can't learn in a book!
So why do I ask if I can enjoy my kids fighting? There are 2 reasons off the top of my head.
One is a lesson to learn from them. You can fight with someone and still have a friendship, still accept each other for who they are. Obviously they do not hate each other or they wouldn't be sitting so close enjoying popcorn. We may not like everything about a person but we can appreciate what we do have in common and relish in that.
The other is the more my kids fight now the better equipped they will be to stand up for themselves later on with people not in their immediate family. It doesn't mean they will be bullies, it means they will less likely be pushovers. This is their training ground. They will have years of experience and maturity under their belt that I did not have in this area when they face the world beyond their front door. As an only child, I complied for the most part, no I wasn't an angel but things were relatively peaceful in my house. I only had a dog to fight with and blame things on (which didn't go over).
So even though it drives me crazy at times, if I look at their fighting in this respect, I can actually sit back and smile. Its one thing you can't learn in a book!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Do As I Do
I love to read! However, my best learning happens outside of the books. When I watch people, or interact with people I learn what to do or not to do. My choice in reading material is important because it leads me in the right direction but to learn something new, to put it into action I have to see it or hear it. I have to be inspired by my surroundings.
One reason we home school is because I don't believe sitting in a classroom with 20 other kids is necessarily the primary way to go. Yes, some kids can thrive on it, however, kids get lost in a crowd, they zone out if not interested, may be embarrassed to show interest in something others would find dumb. I love going on "field trips." Every vacation we have ever had has been a learning adventure vs. time off of school. Things we have witnessed/experienced on our trips:
civil war battlefields
maple sugar farms
country doctor home/office
how a farm is run
hiking/nature trails/moutains
Indian reservations
army museum
Presidential Homesteads
Guitar factory-how it is made from beginning to end
So what does this have to do with the topic "do as I do?" Plenty. We are each a piece of this big puzzle. Reading about something is great, but experiencing it together is better. Usually real life throws a curve ball from a book. A doctor cannot learn medicine from a book alone, he must have patients. We can write our budget down on paper but somehow things work out differently at the end of the month due to unexpected reality. Real life is just different-we have the people factor involved.
I have a friend who is amazingly giving, she wishes her kids would have more interest in Torah. Unfortunately she hounds them about it. I told her to stop talking to them about what she wishes they would do and just let them watch her. I think back to my childhood and how I observed my parents and now do a lot of what they did (even though I said I never would-lol)
Why are we told to study Torah AND do mitzvot? Studying alone is not enough. We must be there to show each other the ropes, to help each other out. We are all connected. Raising kids teaches us so much. They will follow what we do way before adhering to a lecture from us. People watch us more than we know.
I was a bank teller years ago and a lady brought in a bottle of perfume for me. I was stunned. She said I always took good care of her and smiled and she wanted to show her appreciation. I had no idea I was being looked at in such a way, she was not even a customer I knew well like some other regulars.
We are to be a light to the nations, it starts with inspiration from Torah being transformed into good deeds-our household will notice and then we can spread it to the rest of the world. Books and studying are wonderful but it can't stop there.
Shabbat Shalom!
One reason we home school is because I don't believe sitting in a classroom with 20 other kids is necessarily the primary way to go. Yes, some kids can thrive on it, however, kids get lost in a crowd, they zone out if not interested, may be embarrassed to show interest in something others would find dumb. I love going on "field trips." Every vacation we have ever had has been a learning adventure vs. time off of school. Things we have witnessed/experienced on our trips:
civil war battlefields
maple sugar farms
country doctor home/office
how a farm is run
hiking/nature trails/moutains
Indian reservations
army museum
Presidential Homesteads
Guitar factory-how it is made from beginning to end
So what does this have to do with the topic "do as I do?" Plenty. We are each a piece of this big puzzle. Reading about something is great, but experiencing it together is better. Usually real life throws a curve ball from a book. A doctor cannot learn medicine from a book alone, he must have patients. We can write our budget down on paper but somehow things work out differently at the end of the month due to unexpected reality. Real life is just different-we have the people factor involved.
I have a friend who is amazingly giving, she wishes her kids would have more interest in Torah. Unfortunately she hounds them about it. I told her to stop talking to them about what she wishes they would do and just let them watch her. I think back to my childhood and how I observed my parents and now do a lot of what they did (even though I said I never would-lol)
Why are we told to study Torah AND do mitzvot? Studying alone is not enough. We must be there to show each other the ropes, to help each other out. We are all connected. Raising kids teaches us so much. They will follow what we do way before adhering to a lecture from us. People watch us more than we know.
I was a bank teller years ago and a lady brought in a bottle of perfume for me. I was stunned. She said I always took good care of her and smiled and she wanted to show her appreciation. I had no idea I was being looked at in such a way, she was not even a customer I knew well like some other regulars.
We are to be a light to the nations, it starts with inspiration from Torah being transformed into good deeds-our household will notice and then we can spread it to the rest of the world. Books and studying are wonderful but it can't stop there.
Shabbat Shalom!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Refined Like Silver
I can't believe its been 2 months since I have posted.
An update on our situation since the car accident: My husband has had a lot of pain in his shoulder, they said it was dislocated, had torn muscles etc...doctors can't seem to agree. He was finally given a few sets of cortisone shots and is going to start physical therapy. He is also waiting for an mri approval for his lower back. I have had testing done on my back and have some herniated discs and am going through physical therapy (which is not working). I see an orthopedist next week and will probably get some shots of my own. We've had many sleepless nights and painful days but we are getting through. Baruch Hashem for His mercy and help in getting us through this tough time.
Should we be bitter when we have these circumstances hit us out of the blue? How do we handle it? Where does our strength come from?
I was just watching Jewishtv.org. They were talking about a passage (Malachi 3) that says G-d will sit like a refiner and purifier of silver. A silversmith will sit in front of the hot fire, and put the silver in the hottest part of the fire to refine it. He must hold it there and watch it so it gets taken out at the right time. If the silver stays in too long it gets destroyed. G-d watches us during our hot spots and holds us. The part I liked about this story is when the silversmith is asked when he knows the silver is done being refined. He says its simple: when he can see his reflection in the silver he knows it is purified.
When we go through a tough time-and we will for sure-we can feel comfort knowing G-d is holding our hand as we go through it. When the problem ends we can rest assured we may have been through a rough time but it was a time of purification. We will have learned something from it, gotten closer to G-d, close enough that he can see His reflection in us. Wow!
An update on our situation since the car accident: My husband has had a lot of pain in his shoulder, they said it was dislocated, had torn muscles etc...doctors can't seem to agree. He was finally given a few sets of cortisone shots and is going to start physical therapy. He is also waiting for an mri approval for his lower back. I have had testing done on my back and have some herniated discs and am going through physical therapy (which is not working). I see an orthopedist next week and will probably get some shots of my own. We've had many sleepless nights and painful days but we are getting through. Baruch Hashem for His mercy and help in getting us through this tough time.
Should we be bitter when we have these circumstances hit us out of the blue? How do we handle it? Where does our strength come from?
I was just watching Jewishtv.org. They were talking about a passage (Malachi 3) that says G-d will sit like a refiner and purifier of silver. A silversmith will sit in front of the hot fire, and put the silver in the hottest part of the fire to refine it. He must hold it there and watch it so it gets taken out at the right time. If the silver stays in too long it gets destroyed. G-d watches us during our hot spots and holds us. The part I liked about this story is when the silversmith is asked when he knows the silver is done being refined. He says its simple: when he can see his reflection in the silver he knows it is purified.
When we go through a tough time-and we will for sure-we can feel comfort knowing G-d is holding our hand as we go through it. When the problem ends we can rest assured we may have been through a rough time but it was a time of purification. We will have learned something from it, gotten closer to G-d, close enough that he can see His reflection in us. Wow!
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